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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22595992">Before the storm (WKM fan story)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkwardmeatball4/pseuds/Awkwardmeatball4'>Awkwardmeatball4</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Who killed Markiplier content [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Attempted Murder, Cussing, Dark Past, Demons, Depression, Developing Relationship, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Murder, Murder Mystery, Old Friends, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Post-Divorce, Pre-Who Killed Markiplier?, Romance, Self-Harm, Sexual Humor, Suicide Attempt, Who Killed Markiplier?, YouTube</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:22:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,260</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22595992</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkwardmeatball4/pseuds/Awkwardmeatball4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This fan fiction starts about a couple of months after Celine leaves Mark . He is in a cycle of self harm and depression and has killed himself more than once. He is facinated by the entity in the house and believes it wants to help him . Little does he know it has much more sinister plans in mind. ( this story features Jenson Oakley which is basically Amy Nelson in this universe I personally believe that WKM could have been better if she was a character and this is my interpretation of how she could easily fit into the wkm world). See the journey and struggle of Mark trying to escape the horrors of his past to change and have a better life. Will he succeed in this goal, or will everything he’s done crash in on him again?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amy Nelson/ Mark Fichbach, Celine | The Seer &amp; Wilford Warfstache | William J. Barnum | The Colonel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Who killed Markiplier content [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625896</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Suicidal thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            A translation of

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/556906">Who killed markiplier</a> by Mark Fichbach.
        </li>

    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was experimenting with the properties of this... new discovery about my manor. I needed to understand how I could just... come back. How could I use this power to my advantage? My mind was always so tired and in pain. Every day I was so confused... lost... and angry. I had been expecting a visit from an old friend but it seems like the whole world has forgotten and turned its back on me.</p><p>I never will get used to the feeling of doing this to myself, but I'm convinced that it needs to be done. I held the blade about a foot from my chest and took in a deep breath. I thought if for some reason I can't come back , and I die for real... It's not like anyone would care that I'm gone. I brought in the knife it was hovering about an inch from piercing through my skin </p><p>And suddenly, the door bell rang .</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A very late guest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I stopped. I was at complete loss of what to do . Benjamin then cautiously peeked out into my room.</p><p>"Um... Should I ... Answer it ?"</p><p>I sighed. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone but I decided we could at least see who it was.</p><p>"Fine, open the door , there's no use in pretending we aren't here"</p><p>I stumbled down the stairs as the butler rushed ahead and opened the door. Instead of some pesky journalist like I expected , My admittedly late guest was there: Miss Jenson Oakley. I barely recognized her. she had dyed blonde hair now, and had grown out her bangs. God it's  been a lot longer than I thought since we'd seen each other in person but seeing her youthful smile let me know it was still my distant friend. I immediately gave the butler an ok to let her in . She was the only person I'd be happy to talk to right now.</p><p>" Welcome miss Oakley , you certainly are... Fashionably late." I sarcastically remarked</p><p>" Mark I am so sorry. I didn't mean to give you any kind of scare, and I would  hate for you to think I'd set you up like that. I hope you understand having a busy crazy acting life . Half the staff that was supposed to be on set today were out sick, and while security was on a quick break some random guy broke in. After that huge incident blew over I had to drive through a crowd of paparazzi and the traffic was atrocious. It's been... a roller coaster of a day to say the least."</p><p>She stopped Her apology  and looked right at me. She could tell something was wrong </p><p>" Mark... are you alright? Oh gosh I didn't walk in on something important did I?"</p><p>Benjamin opened his mouth to say something but I quickly cut him off</p><p>" I just thought you had forgotten your promise to come and visit that's all. I know that's childish of me - it doesn't matter though. Your here now and I don't want you feeling any more guilty than you already do" I knew this reply was sure to convince her</p><p>"Really?!?  I don't even have the words for how terrible I feel about leaving you waiting. Here I'll make it up to you. I know it's really late but have you had dinner yet?"</p><p>" no actually, I let the chef take the night off , here, BUTLER! Can you go fix me and miss Oakley something to eat?"   Benjamin nodded dutifully and headed toward the kitchen but suddenly Jenson cut him off </p><p>" that won't be needed. I was going to offer to cook something "</p><p> " are you sure?" I replied, remembering that this was still the same girl who nearly burned down  her college dorm while trying to make spaghetti. My comment seemed to smooth over the awkward tension. She laughed a little before her rebuttal.</p><p>" ok I know I don't have the best track record when it comes to cooking but I've been trying real hard to learn how to make different soups and chilis. Trust me,No fires this time "</p><p>"Well if you insist, Benjamin, go ahead and take the rest of the night off"</p><p>" you mean it sir?" Benjamin replied </p><p>I nodded to reaffirm his unexpected break </p><p> " thank you sir , and thank you miss Oakley " he started heading off to his living space.</p><p>" it's not a problem at all!" She added as Benjamin walked out of the room. Jenson was definitely lost at first in the big kitchen. While she was preparing the food we made idle chat.</p><p>" so besides today, how has the filming been? Being in another featured role must be exciting "</p><p>" oh it's been alright. I absolutely adore the other women I get to work with on this- they are hilarious- you'll love the film when it comes out I promise "</p><p>"Are you allowed to say anything about it?" I knew what this answer would be</p><p>" oh come on Mark you know better than anyone the actors must keep their mouth shut... but i guess I can fill you in a little- it's nothing too crazy just a simple romantic  comedy. the executives are pitching it as a movie but they're hoping it'll get accepted as a television series"</p><p>" excellent I’ll see the finished product whenever it comes out . I know acting has really been your focus and passion for a while now... but do you have anytime for hobbies outside of work right now"</p><p>" oh barely- you know how it is. I love that you are taking a break from it all. It must be so refreshing "</p><p>If only she knew my absence was anything but refreshing ...- she could never know so I plastered on a smile " yes... after the.. recent events it's been essential for me to stop having such a... fast paced lifestyle” I wanted to move away from this topic for now “anyway about your hobbies?"</p><p>" oh yes! I'm starting to make some money on the side with pottery- mainly mugs. I don't have much time but I love every chance I get. I've been spending time with my mom trying to learn how to cook and clean and what not. Making  me more " suitable for marriage " and all that I suppose.”</p><p>Jenson was one of those few,rare, self dependent women. She really prides herself on taking care and relying on only herself which is a very... unique quality for a woman. In a way this pride reminded me of Celine. Jenson interrupted my inner thoughts</p><p>“Oh! On a different note I've been doing more songs and performances with musicals. I really think I prefer it more than camera acting"</p><p>" that's great. You have a lovely voice." I felt like I came off as in-genuine with this compliment. I wasn’t lying, so why was it so hard to tell that to her</p><p>" thanks- means a lot coming from you.- oh did you hear about Damien running for mayor?"</p><p>" of course! I was thrilled when I found out. Being a mayor would suit him well. He Definitely has my vote"</p><p>" same here. I'm so happy for him"</p><p>Talking like this was getting increasingly strained. Not that I didn't care about what has been happening in her life... We just both knew this was simply delaying what this get together is about. She started putting her attention towards the cooking again until she was finished with a soup. The table was pretty much already set so we took our food and sat down across from each other. So many times I had dined here completely alone. A large dining table that was mostly occupied by just one lonely... broken man. The reminiscing was starting to anger me but the comfort of Jenson being here calmed me down.</p><p>" tadaa! No fires just like I said. If the soup is no good please tell me"</p><p>I was admittedly a little scared of the first bite I would take of this. Thank goodness I was pleasantly surprised </p><p>" this is great - thanks for your time and generosity..." I trailed off as I saw her look rather awkward, or uncomfortable. I knew what she wanted to ask "as much as I enjoy all the pleasantries, lets not beat around the bush and get to the reason why your here"</p><p>She seemed hesitant to respond still but finally spoke </p><p>" if you insist... so what really happened between you and Celine?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Make or Break</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I took a deep breath in. The topic was pretty touchy. I often found myself with a nasty temper whenever I have to discuss the events. I'll try to stay calm, I don't  want Jenson thinking I am a maniac. I came up with a good response </p><p>" well it would help me to know how much you've already been told "</p><p>" not much... it kinda hurt actually. I expected you, Celine or Damien to say something about it a day or two after but I didn't know anything till it came up on the news. Really doesn't make you feel good when...  none of your friends decide to tell you what the hells happening "</p><p>I knew how she felt. Having people hide things because they think you can't handle the truth. I was surprised neither Celine or Damien mentioned anything. She knew them quite well." I apologize... I guess I didn't want to talk about it since I was somewhat in denial about the whole thing. But we're here now, so tell me how much you already know"</p><p>" I know that Celine tried to get away with some suspicious monetary transactions... and then a few days later something happened that caused her to file a divorce. There's some other far fetched stories here and there that people have told me and things that have been splattered over the from pages but That's the whole extent of my concrete knowledge "</p><p>" wow... you really don't know a lot about it. Well you're right, with the horror stories of  banks closing down around the area, I let Celine handle my fortune... for months I didn't check what she was taking out but I found suspicious amounts being transferred to an unknown account, that was later revealed to be Williams ... that was one of the main things that made me believe there was something sketchy going on. I questioned her about the money, she said some bold faced lie to me and that was the end of it. I had some fear that lingered after especially around the time our relationship was going under some... strain and disagreement. But I didn't know until one night where I got home early. I walked into the house the moment Wil was assumably on his way out after doing... well only GOD KNOWS what with Celine! I was obviously furious but Wil managed to high tail it out of there LIKE ALWAYS!"</p><p>While  being alone I had developed a horrid habit of getting loud and pounding my fist on the table when I wasn't able to handle my anger. Every time I could hear our cups and utensils rattle as the table shook. I looked up at Jenson and saw that she looked a mix Of concerned, intimidated... maybe even fear from my aggressive tendency. " ... sorry. Saying it out loud to someone really tapped into a lot of pent up bile. I promise to keep calm during the rest, I don't want to... scare you"</p><p>" it's... it's alright I can only imagine myself in your shoes, and I can only imagine your suffering. Please just, continue."</p><p>" well from then I demanded that she take a leave for a while, so I could think about what happened, try to fix our marriage, and work through our troubles. when I had her leave the house I told her she could come Back in a while and be with me, and only me. I promised for her, I would forget it all ever happened. She broke my heart and a promise that night. After all that time with her I never expected that she'd chose a... a God damm good for nothing broker over me. She gave me an envelope with a letter and her wedding ring. And that was the end. We saw each other twice after that. Only to sort out some legal things with the divorce. She got tons of money out of it. I'm sure she's so... HAPPY spending money SHE didn't EVEN EARN- helping someone who already owes me thousands-."</p><p>" hey. You don't have to continue anymore, I think I understand perfectly well how you feel"</p><p>" oh god, your being condescending. You think I'm crazy, I'm sure you've already heard so many other things from Celine."</p><p>" Mark, it's not like that and I don't think your crazy. I mean this... it's the worst. I don't need to know all the he said she said stuff, to realize that you have to be in a lot of pain. I can't imagine being in your situation, how depressed and frustrated you must feel. I figured coming over and talking to you about everything would let you say it as it is. Maybe help you process things, be able to take a step back and be less bitter."</p><p>Depressed and frustrated. yeah that summed it up pretty well. Her comment sparked a new question. </p><p>" why did you decide to come now. What made you take it upon yourself to do this at all"</p><p>"you've been so quiet, I hadn't heard anything from you, and I talked with Damien for a while... we were scared you had done something... really irrational "</p><p>She and Damien were right to worry about my silence. Too bad they were far too late. " so you only came because Damien told you to. I see"</p><p>She became very defensive and panicked now. "No! That's not how it is at all. I really was worried I ... I didn't find out for so long. And I guess I didn't want to miss work"</p><p>" there it is. I don't understand why people these days can never say the whole truth" I knew Jenson was a bit of a workaholic, and had probably been putting off this visit for a long time</p><p>" Mark, I'm sorry I could've come around a week or two ago, just I'm always on thin ice, people are really competitive and not flexible when it comes to acting. I just needed to show every ounce of commitment. You of all people should understand wanting to keep reputation. Not letting everything I worked for all this time come crashing down into a pit of failure. Everyone is waiting for me to make some mistake and I'm not letting them have it"</p><p>"Jenson you are talking to a man who has experienced the very thing you described. And yes, it's gut wrenching , but it won't be caused by taking a sick day. It will be brought upon you by things that are just... out of your control "</p><p>She looked at me and she had a soft smile on her face. There was silence in the room for a long moment. She let out an awkward laugh. " you're... right." She looked to the side seeming just a little teary eyed. " god I didn't expect this to be flipped on me. I was being really selfish, and a horrible friend to you. I really should've checked in sooner"</p><p>It was easy to tell that she was remorseful, so I decided to be forgiving. " it's passed, and it's done. All that matters is that you cared to be here for me now. I just started questioning out of anger and curiosity."</p><p>" thanks Mark. I guess that makes us even now" she started standing up to put away dishes and utensils. I got up from my seat to do the same. I wasn't ready for our time together to be over. Something in my mind was scared of being alone again after finally conversing with someone besides the chef and Butler. I liked our talk even if there was some tension, and I wanted her to stay.</p><p>" it does. Say, how long do you have till you must go."</p><p>" oh I didn't really intend to stay here longer than eleven. I still have work tomorrow "</p><p>" that's fine- it still gives us over an hour. We could start a film if your alright with that"</p><p>" That would be nice. My television is currently broken right now, not that I ever watch much on the thing" We started walking into the living room where we started changing the dial on the television until we found something we'd both be content with watching. It was titled metropolis- I had never seen it but Jenson claimed it was a must watch. It was a simple idea- a man and a woman decide to take on life in a huge bustling city- and the film is every event that follows after. Jenson sat close to me, not close enough to be uncomfortable or loving, but enough that we would brush up on each other when we fidgeted or moved. Sometime through the film I guess I had started fiddling with my kerchief to the point it was completely untied and down. I didn't realize what I'd done until it was too late. The film ended and Jenson got up from the sofa and started stretching . </p><p>" all right, no more extensions on my stay- I really have to go now. Glad to have this time with you Mark "</p><p>" Same goes to you Jenson- I wouldn't mind if you visited again sometime soon"</p><p>That's when she noticed- her eye contact was taken off my eyes and towards my neck, and her face contorted into one of extreme worry. I wore that Kerchief to shield others view of my scarred up throat from my own attempted hanging.</p><p>" Mark what... what is that- did you really do this?" She came close to me and stared at the wound. I could see her arm go up as if she was going to touch it, but I grabbed her wrist to let her know I wasn't alright with that.</p><p>" it's... it's exactly what it looks like. Obviously I'm alright. Ben managed to stop me before it was too late. Please don't worry yourself  about it. I made a stupid decision and I'm not going to do it again." I lied</p><p>" Mark ... when did you do this?" She looked like she was at the edge of tears. I was silently cursing myself for fidgeting with the kerchief. She would've gone out the door without ever having to know.</p><p>" sometime after I finalized divorce papers with Celine- alright? Please just forget you saw anything "</p><p>"I ... I won't say anything else about it. Doesn't mean I'll forget. You know you really need to just get out more. Go on walks, drink water, get some sunlight, find a hobby. Sounds generic but I think you need it. It's not healthy being locked up in here."</p><p>" and it's not healthy for you to work yourself dusk to dawn only to worry about what work you must get done the next day"</p><p>She was silent. I guess she didn't like that personal comeback. After a few empty moments she spoke " How about we meet somewhere in the middle"</p><p>"What do you mean by that?"</p><p>" Wednesday of next week I'll take off an extra hour on a lunch break only if you can leave this stuffy house. We can go take on the town, get some sandwiches and coffee just to get our mind off things"</p><p>" I don't know. I haven't really made much of a public presence- what If some press shows up and starts harassing the ever loving hell out of us. I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with everything in the public  yet"</p><p>" that's the thing- you'll never be ready for it- that's why you just have to force yourself and do it. Besides if we keep it discreet I doubt anything will come of it. I'll be there with you, it's not like you'll be all alone either"</p><p>I thought about her offer very thoroughly " alright. I'll do it. What time? Where are we going"</p><p>" I'm thinking about 1:20 right at hmm... Hollywood boulevard?"</p><p>"Sounds fine by me- you know Miss Oakley if I didn't know any better this would almost seem like you're asking me on a date" I meant this halfway as a joke, but a bit of me was honestly curious.</p><p>" a date? No , don't get ahead of yourself..." at this point we were walking towards the front door- when we arrived at her exit she turned to me and said</p><p>" it'll take a little more than some sweet talking and a movie to impress me. But keep trying. We'll see"<br/>And With that she was out the door headed to her car, leaving me completely dumbfounded. And once again all alone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The lucky one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>( this takes place about a week after the previous chapter)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My body finally started to stir up from a deep and uneasy sleep. I stretched and tried to soothe the aching in various joints. God I feel like an old man already. The screaming light from beyond my curtains let me know that the morning was close to being completely gone. This was nothing unusual. I had nothing to ever look forward to and my sleep was often plagued by insomnia or... horrific nightmares. I finally opened my eyes and dangled my legs out of the bed. The time read 11:56 am and on the alarm clock there was a note- it was in Benjamin’s neat handwriting.
“Don’t forget about your meeting with miss Oakley today...”
Oh great- I had a little over an hour to get ready mentally, physically and emotionally, as well as drive through downtown Los Angeles... I might be cutting it close. The thought briefly entered my mind- I could just cancel. I had no real obligation or reason to meet with her and I might be ridiculously late. There’s been no problem with just staying in the house. I decided against it- this was an important compromise we had both made- If I didn’t meet her she might not take another day off the rest of her life. It was a decision made more for her sake than mine. With not a moment to lose I got the energy to get out of bed, having to stumble over items in my cluttered room. I opened my closet and started musing on what to wear- most of what I had would feel a little too dressy for where she wanted to go, plus it’s probably best to try and blend in. I wouldn’t want an army of journalists ruining Jenson and I’s lunch. I settled for a muddy red vest that was lined on the side with a blue velvet fabric- and didn’t wear a tie. After slipping on some black dress pants and some leather shoes I practiced my old morning routine. It was strange- I usually only bothered doing the bare minimum these days since the only people I ever saw was Benjamin and chef. But this was different- it was like getting ready for work. I was strangely excited about looking good and wanting to show off. I had to admit when I saw myself in the mirror it was the first time in a while I was at least content with who looked back at me. With a new boost of confidence I grabbed my wallet and walked out the door, With Benjamin not far behind because he also served as my chauffeur.</p><p>I got in the backseat of the car as Benjamin climbed into the drivers seat. “ We’re heading to Hollywood boulevard, correct?” 
“ yes Benjamin- be safe but try to drive fast, We’re unfortunately short on time and there’s bound to be traffic at this time of day”<br/>
“ I understand sir”
 and with that we started rolling out of the driveway. Seeing my home disappear in the back window... it unsettled me. Not for any reason beyond the realization of just how long I’d been stuck inside with nothing but regret and despair. Leaving now was like a wake up call that was trying to pull me out into the world again. Time has been so unimportant to me lately but it had to have been well over a month or two since I’ve left the manor grounds. Something told me that Jenson knew all along this is what I needed. My thoughts shifted to Jenson. I’d let a lot of what she had said to me sink in and some things I still couldn’t make heads or tails of. Why hadn’t she been told more? Why was she suddenly back in town at all? And... did she really mean what she said on her way out that night. i festered with it several times over the last week but every time I came to the same conclusion - she was just finding a way to get my attention, to make me think about her, and our plan to meet each other. She wasn’t slightly romantically interested in me, I’ve known her way too long. She would’ve shown interest before now. And still with all my rationalizing, I maintained a glimmer of curiosity with the chance  that I was wrong.<br/>
I looked down at my watch- the time read 12:49 and we were finally approaching the busier part of Los Angeles- we had been making good time but my hope was crushed after we came to near stand still traffic. Benjamin called back to me. 
“ as you can probably already see we’ve hit some heavy traffic- at this rate we can just hope for not being more than a few minutes late”<br/>
“ thanks Benjamin... there’s nothing we can do about it “</p><p>I looked out the window at the endless stack of cars that lay in front of us. Everyone here had somewhere to be. Something to do. Lives to live. I guess I can’t really say I have that anymore. I’ve broken out of the cycle and I don’t think there’s any way even Damien or Jenson could get me to go back. The car ride had become a game of just stop and go which was nearly nauseating. After an eternity the traffic thinned out and we were on a steady path to our destination. My watch read 1:32 - I was dangerously late, and was hoping that jenson hadn’t given up on my arrival. The car started going down a steep hill, as we could finally see our destination drawing near- Hollywood boulevard. The area was something unlike anything else probably in the world. We could see the fresh and new Chinese theatre that had become the pinnacle of this road. When we got closer I could finally see a familiar face standing not too far out of its entrance- it was obvious this wasn’t the planned meeting spot and she had just wandered over to look at the impressive architecture. She seemed to be carrying a large handbag and wearing a blue, form fitting dress. How women could walk in such things was still a mystery to me. The car came to a halt right next to Jenson as she turned to greet me. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. Why was I so much more... nervous. She spoke-<br/>
“ well look who finally decided to show up. You were the one having me worried this time” the way she spoke had a certain playful lilt to it, showing she was not at all upset.
“ well then I guess we’re even now” I retorted
“ sure you could say that- I mean no matter the circumstances you always manage to be late somehow”<br/>
“ it’s fashionably late However- it’s just what I’m known for, like a character trait. Besides no one seems to mind much as long as I show up eventually “<br/>
“ it’s annoying, inconsiderate and predictable is what it is- you know I’m kinda sorta seeing why SOME people say they don’t like you” it was no secret to Jenson that I have a great deal of people who aren’t fond of me.
“ well I’m starting to see why William doesn’t like you- “ William was the only person I knew in existence who full on hated Jenson so this was the best comeback I could have
“ if we’re being honest... does wil really truly like anyone? Hard to tell with guys like him” she and I both laughed. In a very weird way this felt like a improvisation activity. It was time to change the subject before we went down a gossip rabbit hole.
“were you always this... outspoken?” I asked
“ oh god no- I know you didn’t get to know me the best in high school but i didn’t pick up the whole confidence idea until just a few years ago”<br/>
She started walking- being very sure where she was going, and I could only assume we were going to some restaurant she had scoped out.<br/>
“ oh really? I figured a natural actress like yourself wouldn’t have had much problem with such things. What pressured you into making that discovery “<br/>
“ I found that in the acting world if you don’t speak up and stand out, you’ll be happily drowned out by overconfident hotshots like yourself” there was a slight hint of seriousness mixed within the otherwise playful jab.
“ ouch- that one hurt... but fair enough “ The walk became momentarily silent as we crossed the street, gazing at the unique structures that made Hollywood boulevard a distinct and popular place.
“ where are we going anyway “ I asked
“ it’s just a sandwich shop just a little farther- I really wanted something causal- glad you got the memo with the way you dressed”</p><p>“ ah you know- I just couldn’t bring myself to outshine you”<br/>
“ ha... how humble and kind of you” she said with clear bluntness.<br/>
I returned to silence again for she was clearly tired of our snarky but playful banter. I suddenly took notice of the large purse she was carrying that appeared stuffed to the brim. Jenson was never one for carrying large bags like such, and she definitely wouldn’t have it stuffed like that. She had something planned. For some reason I didn’t trust it.<br/>
“ hey what’s I-“ I was quickly cut off as we rounded the corner and were met with our destination.<br/>
“ there it is- Grayson eatery. I found this place when I was looking for a place to snatch lunch after watching a show in the oriental theatre.”<br/>
It was an average size for a restaurant and looked rather plain. There were large windows with the restaurants logo printed on them. They allowed plenty of sunlight to flood the indoor area. I could see a checkout counter, and a display that showcased various salads. Sandwiches and snack foods.<br/>
“ looks good enough for me. After you miss” I opened the door and made an effort to not seem in the least bit sarcastic<br/>
“ thanks Mark- what do you think you want to eat” she asked<br/>
“ well I don’t have much of an appetite so I’ll probably just get a salad. What about yourself “<br/>
“ I’m keeping it simple- just a ham sandwich. I’ll order our food, you can go get us a table “<br/>
“ alright- and don’t think your getting away with paying for my food I’ll find a way to pay you back”<br/>
“ no your not I’m not allowing it, you don’t owe me anything “<br/>
Jenson was especially giving with her time and money but this often leads to her paying for just about anyone’s meal. I can’t remember ever seeing a time where she didn’t attempt to pay for her friends drinks or food. It became a game within our friend group to try and find creative ways to return the money to her. Thinking back on it made me smile ... but those days were ages ago now. I had decided to sit at a table that was far away from the windows because they were bright, and we didn’t want any person to recognize us by walking by the window. I looked up and saw Jenson paying for the food. I watched the large purse specifically because I wanted a peak on what she had put in there- needless to say I was disappointed when she pulled her wallet out of a side pocket of the bag, which completely sheltered the secret of the purses contents.</p><p>She got the food we ordered and brought it back to our table, sliding my salad over to me. She must’ve been hungry because she doesn’t wait much before taking a bite of the sandwich.<br/>
“ what do you think? Was this worth the trip? “ she asked after I took a bite from my salad.<br/>
“ ah well just seeing you is worth the journey- but the foods very fresh and good. Thanks for doing this” I snuck in just a bit of a flirt in hopes to get a reaction out of Jenson. To my surprise she found no interest in my flattering words.<br/>
“ alright alright clearly you’re mistaken on why I called to meet you here.” She said with a pinch of sass. “As fun as it is talking and catching up with you lately, i have to go back to work eventually “<br/>
She reached down to the large purse underneath her chair and began to unzip it. “ let’s finally get to business”</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Make a change</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Out of her oversized purse she pulled out dozens of magazines, tabloids, and newspapers.<br/>
“ if you want to get back into the acting world, we have to work on your public image- this is a huge collection of stories and rumors that have been spread since your hiatus. Some of them are unfortunately accurate, while others are downright crazy.”<br/>
She slid over one newspaper that had an article titled - Mark Fichbach, another demon working in satans hellring within Hollywood. A pang of guilt hit me as I realized it wasn’t too far from the truth. I just smiled and laughed it off.<br/>
“ absolutely rediculous- where’d you even find it?”<br/>
She looked embarrassed. “ it’s some of the uh... extreme religious propaganda my mother can’t stop reading. You should’ve seen her face when she read this. “ see? You were right to stay away from that Mark fella, just proves your fathers always wrong about these things””<br/>
she ended her impression of her own mother which really took me back to our teen years. If I remembered correctly, her dad wanted her to date me - really any young man that came from a wealthy family. Jenson had a head good on her shoulders, cause she had enough sense to keep her distance from the troublemaker I was. We had another small laugh before she refocused.<br/>
“ anyway, if your returning to the stage you’re going to need to come up with solid answers for every single one of these questions, even the more outrageous ones. Guess they want closure to all the drama...”  I started realizing what this all meant- she was serious about me going back To acting. Leaving the house... working... caring about things. I’ve made up my mind long ago that Im never doing that again and even Jenson wasn’t changing that.<br/>
“ wait, Jenson hold on. what makes you think I want to do acting again- let me get one thing straight that industry is part of the reason I’ve won and also lost every shred of dignity I have. I’m not doing it again.”<br/>
Jenson looked incredibly offended. “ so that’s it then? What are you going to do with your life. You can’t just sit in the manor and get miserable and old.” I sat back and gave her an insinuating stare<br/>
“ um, news flash that was kinda my plan. I’m still sitting on loads of cash, I’ll be completely set for life. Going back to work would be a draining waste of my time.” Her eyes started to give a more pleading look, but her voice seemed furious.<br/>
“ I can’t believe you... where’s all the ambition and drive you had. The Mark I knew was always working on new projects, wanted to take chances and push himself to the limits. Where’s the man that pushed me out of all the comforting cages I used to surround myself with.” I can’t believe it. She thinks I owe her something for being a changed person.<br/>
“ that Mark died. all his dreams were crushed after he got so swept up in the glamorous life. He Should’ve figured that when he left his wife alone long enough, she’d bring another man into their bed. Thank you so much for asking. God I didn’t think this was what this meeting was for.” I was about ready to leave... can’t take much more arguing from someone who doesn’t understand the kind of pain I’ve been through. That and the fact We have the whole restaurants attention.<br/>
“ what were you expecting from this meeting then mark!? Tell me that much.” She has a lilt of smarminess... like she already knew the answer.<br/>
“ I don’t know... I thought maybe it was a setup for a date “ it felt stupid saying it out loud, really really pathetic. She looked into my eyes and suddenly changed her tone<br/>
“ Mark... you have to realize that you don’t have much going for yourself. You’re lazy, unhealthy, and if I’m being honest you can come off as a huge jerk. The thing is that I know that’s not who you are at heart. I have a fear that even if I try and help you out of this rut it’ll only be for me. I don’t want to be the reason you stay alive. I’m a plus. You need to want that for yourself. Before you love anyone else... you have to love yourself.”</p>
<p>I leaned back in my chair and looked out the window. I exhaled trying to gather my thoughts 
“ why do you want to help me? I don’t understand it... the rest of the world has forgotten me. Why do you care? And I don’t want to hear the whole “ cause we’re friends “ bullshit because you and I both know we really weren’t that close.” Jenson was silent for a moment before she spoke up. 
“ I’ve always felt like I owed you something for helping start my career. It’s something you didn’t have to do, but it changed my life. If it wasn’t for you stepping up for me, I might still be working at that miserable diner, and waking at the crack of dawn to host morning radio. I was a nobody but your faith in my young acting Career has allowed me to support myself and do something I love. This predicament you’ve found yourself in felt like the best time to pay a good deed forward. You jump started my path to happiness-and I want the same for you.” 
Thinking about it now... it made way too much sense. She attributes a lot of her success to the little things I did to Get her foot in the door with acting. She doesn’t give herself enough credit though.
“ you don’t owe me anything- if you weren’t talented you wouldn’t have made it this far. You’re  completely underselling yourself. Now that we have the emotional debt settled, can we forget about fixing my career?” Even with the moving revelation she shared, it’s not enough for me to change my mind. She looked defeated and just mumbled her response.
“S...sure Mark.” 
Something in my chest suddenly felt tight and my mind... felt stressed and concerned. Oh god I’m feeling guilty... that’s a rare occurrence. I tried to start a new conversation.
“ so um...when you talked about the good ol days it reminded me- whatever happened between you and Dan? I remember there was some like, lawsuit that happened a-“ her face filled with anxiety, which wasn’t a typical look for her.
“ I don’t um... I really like to keep the information about that under wraps. I’m sure you’d understand hiding away events like that.” She managed to take another jab at my hubris which made me honestly weigh my options. I could say no, and go back to the manor... keep mutilating myself in preparation for vengeance. I could have closure... but my plan is admittedly flawed. Or I could take this second chance. See how far down this rabbit hole of redemption goes. I guess if things go south I could always just go back to my old ways.
“ Jenson. I’ll do it”
She looked shocked 
“ what? you’re serious- you are ok with trying to get back up on your feet?”
“ yeah... I mean I don’t have much to lose. And I have a lovely lady like you to help me through it.” She seemed just a tad flustered with my compliment. 
“ well that’s great! Do you still have any contact with your old agents?” I shook my head
“ as far as I know, I’m dead to those greedy bastards.” 
“ well in that case I’ll see if I can get you set up with the agency I’m currently using- and in the meantime we could continue meeting up to brain storm some interview responses and rehearse for auditions? I was thinking we could do it at my house- How’s that sound?” I was hesitant... this was a commitment that I needed to be sure of. I’ll leaving the manor more and more which is terrifying but... maybe it won’t be horrid to get out every once in a while. 
“ sounds like a plan Miss Oakley” I set out a tip on the table and stood up, while helping Jenson get all the newspapers back in her bag. After hefting it over her shoulder we left our table and I opened the door for her. An idea popped into my mind as I looked far down the street at the Oriental theatre.
“ you know the days only half done, if I recall correctly there should be a showing of “ phantom of the opera” in 20 minutes or so.” Jenson looked up at me and smiled 
“ that... sounds wonderful” 
I could barely noticed how my heart skipped a beat right then. I felt especially gentleman-like and offered to interlock my arm with hers
“ shall we?” She didn’t say much but she didn’t need to, her reddish cheeks gave it away. She locked her arm with mine, and we went on our way. Whether she knew it or not I’ll never be sure,
But at that moment, she saved my life.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. She saved me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Our visits with each other continued after that fateful afternoon. It went from formal outings about how to restart my career, to unplanned and sporadic meetups that didn’t always have a purpose beyond talking. we became more comfortable being around each other, and I slowly became more content living in my own skin. I don’t know how she managed to put me under her spell so fast but in her eyes it appeared she was falling hard for my own charm, despite her insistence that we were just friends. I found myself being able to walk with a shred of confidence and my egocentric humor has returned partially- I try not to to act that way around her however. If I’m not careful such jests might eventually drive her away. Even the groundskeeper and Benjamin have made off handed comments about my improved mood. However I don’t just owe her a mood change. Because of her I've been able to come to my senses if only a little bit, and have been completely clean from my cycle of self harm. With some luck I’ve even gotten in with a casting agency once more that is willing to help me even though my acting career has definitely tanked since I’m a “ difficult and controversial “ choice as Jenson gently puts it. I took the initiative and auditioned for a few small and convenient projects many of which Jenson either auditioned for as well or at least drove me to. If she was allowed to she would even stick around and watch my cold reads, improv, or whatever else I would have to do during the auditions and critique me on the car ride home. I’m usually not much of a fan of well... any criticism but her openness and honesty with me is admirable enough for me not to mind. I’m hoping I’ll score a role in one of the productions so that I can rest easy knowing this isn’t all for naught. That I really do have a future beyond the death and anguish I’ve suffered. While pacing around in the main living room I heard the landline start to go off from near the kitchen. I started walking over hoping it was a callback for my most recent audition, while Benjamin picked up the phone, which was typical of him to do. </p><p>“ you’ve reached the residence of Markiplier manor- oh hello Mrs. Oakley, Mark will be here in a moment.” </p><p>He takes the phone away from his ear and hands it over to me when I’m close enough.</p><p> “ hello Jenson- to what do I owe the pleasure!” I heard her giggle just a bit on the other side. </p><p>“ oh I’m just being impatient, my minds been racing thinking about callback opportunities- have you heard anything yet?”</p><p> I sighed and told her the truth “... I haven’t heard anything from anyone so far”</p><p> her usual cheeriness seemed to falter a bit before she picked it back up.</p><p>“ oh... well in any case they must just be taking their time. Regardless of whether you get a response or not I realized I had some free time this evening! Maybe I could pick you up from the manor and we could go and hit the town- that is if your feeling up to it.”</p><p> I smiled at the prospect of spending an evening with her, and treating her to the high class city sights she might’ve never seen before. My chest became all tight and fluttery imagining her curious face when we walk arm and arm into a new fine dining restaurant. These sensations when I spoke to Jenson were fairly new but I recognized exactly what they meant. For now I kept my composure and replied.<br/>
“That sounds fine, I don’t feel like garbage today- do you have anything in mind for the time and place?”</p><p>She seemed slightly distracted as if something was going on in the background before taking “ no idea where to go just yet, but I should get off a bit before six o clock and then I can drive over. Does that sound good?”</p><p> “ yes, absolutely! I’ll be ready then.” </p><p>I was ready to put up the phone when she said “well I’ve got to get back to work- just wanted to let you know before we hang up, that no matter what happens with the results of the auditions and callbacks, I’m really proud of you. You could’ve shut me down, you could have stayed the same but you took a risk... and I think that’s very admirable and brave- anyway see you tonight, I’ve got to go-“</p><p> I couldn’t get a single word in to thank her for the compliments- guess I’ll just say them when we meet up. I felt my face, which still a bit red from the words of praise. I put up the telephone while Benjamin came into view. </p><p>“Sounds like the two of you are making plans to celebrate your potential casting?” </p><p>I nodded “ yes, it was her idea of course, but she’s planning to pick me up at 6 so I’ll use the time I have to make sure I look presentable.”</p><p> Benjamin looked like he was questioning if he wanted to say more “it seems like you and Mrs. Oakley are becoming quite close- forgive me for intruding but is there... anything there...?”</p><p>I laughed and smiled- Benjamin definitely struggled sometimes with whether to talk to me as a friend or employer. “ you know what? I’m not quite sure myself. But maybe... yes.”</p><p> Benjamin nodded and smiled “ it’s good to see you in better spirits sir, I think it’s wise for you to at least continue your friendship.”</p><p> He said this last comment while disappearing into the dining room, leaving me to head upstairs to my own cluttered room. I went over and picked a few stray pieces of clothes and hung the few that weren’t dirty back up, and then lazily tossed a few fallen blankets back onto my bed. While doing these long neglected tasks I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and stopped what I was doing just to go over and look at myself. It’s strange sometimes... I just don’t feel... real. I recognize my own looks and reflection staring right back at me and yet it seems like that person doesn’t even exist. A slight ringing began in my ears and I got a slight headache, which was the symptoms that usually happened before what I can only assume to be an anxiety attack mixed with intrusive thoughts.  Inside my head there was a distant chanting “she will never want someone like you” “you don’t deserve to be loved” “there’s no way you can tell her what your really like” “she will never understand how unfair-“ I shut my internal dialogue up by screaming in my own head while flopping over on the bed. These thoughts... they weren’t natural I knew that for certain. I know everyone has an internal voice and intrusive thoughts but surely ones this loud and out of the blue couldn’t be common...could they? What the hell im not a doctor, maybe it’s completely normal. I just haven’t had an attack like that since... well since I had been in an endless suicide cycle. Things have been so terrifying but refreshing these past few months. I want to choose a new path I’ve just opened up for myself- but the past isn’t always kind. I've been focusing less on my... “muse” of sorts and been thinking about quitting "the plan" I’m just... not sure if I can. I fear if I quit the plan maybe it will anger... whatever exactly has been talking to me in my mind and occasionally even dreams. Just last week I let Abe in on the secrets of the manor and let him investigate, maybe he’ll find something that can help me at least feel normal again. If I am able to go back to a semi regular life I don’t want to scare off any friends or coworkers with my mental flare ups or “ hey I’ve seen the beyond and been back from the afterlife numerous times!”... I’d be sent right into a straight jacket. That got me thinking-It’s been 5 months now since Jensons original visit to the manor and only now am I confronting my complicated feelings towards her. In a way she reminded me of Celine- and not the current Celine, the young Celine that I grew up and fell in love with. The sweet and quirky girl I used to know. It made seeing Jenson somewhat bittersweet. The more I thought about the idea the more unsure I was but... I knew very well I was falling in love with Jenson. The thought was scary, and In a way I wasn't over Celine but I know she's out of the picture, and at some point I need to stop looking back and think about the future. Jenson was caring about me when it seemed no one else in the world was. It was strange to think about the horrible things I would've done if she hadn't been around. She changed my life for the better.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Jump right to it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Well the slow burn ends here, as Mark makes a plan to impress and share his complicated feelings towards Jenson.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I hummed while looking through my closet thoroughly for suits that were nice, but not too showy. Everything has to go perfectly tonight. I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to upstage or show off- just making a genuine effort. I pulled out a few options- a velvet brown vest, a black and white tux, and lastly a silky maroon tux with black pants. I undressed to try on the first option, but downstairs I heard the distant ringing of the phone. In a panic, I donned my robe, barely pulling it over myself while rushing downstairs to answer the phone before Benjamin did.</p><p>“Please be the callback, please be the callback” I muttered, before lunging for the device.<br/>“Hello, this is Mark Fichbach speaking-“</p><p>“Ah wonderful, this is Wilbur Burnahm, speaking on the behalf of the directors at Laguna Hills Studio. I understand that you auditioned for a role in an upcoming production here?”</p><p>I had to quiet down the excitement in my voice</p><p>“Yes I did, not long ago. what’s the news?”</p><p>“Well we’d like to schedule an interview and meeting to just discuss a few things before we hire you- you’ve got the part but on account of... your controversies in the past Mr. MacEnnis and Mr. Sanders just felt it necessary to discuss a few things. Is this alright with you?”</p><p>I gulped- it was probably going to be fine, I met the directors briefly before the audition- they seemed like fine gentlemen, and given my tarnished reputation it would only make sense they’d want to find out what’s real and what’s a lie.</p><p>“Sure, no problem at all, thank you so much. What would be the time and place?”</p><p>“It would be at the studio, Monday next week at 4:30”</p><p>I couldn’t help but grin- I had done it- I’m a working man again.</p><p>“Sounds swell to me. I’ll put it on my calendar, thank you so much Mr. Burnahm.”</p><p>“Thank you for your time sir- goodbye.”</p><p>The line cut out as I put down the phone. The news finally had some time to settle and I had this childlike elation in my chest, and my mind kicked into overdrive like it was on a drug. I made it! It took 100 rejections but finally a success! I can get back on my feet, turn everything around and- think about how excited Jenson will be! I can be there for her a hundred percent I can provide I have a job again! In my swirl of adrenaline I made a decision- I told Benjamin to ready the car, as I ran upstairs and grabbed the maroon colored suit and put it on. After spending a few moments gelling my hair, I looked myself over in the mirror. The reflection that only moments ago had me feeling overwhelmed and disconnected... now beamed with pride.<br/> With not a moment to lose I headed back downstairs and opened up the door to the garage, where Benjamin had the roadster ready to go. I took a deep breath in and opened the door to the back seat.<br/> “Where would you like to go Mr. Fichbach.”</p><p>“I decided it’s about time I did something nice for Jenson- it felt kind of ridiculous to have her drive all the way here. So we’re going to the Lilac Film lot.” </p><p>“As you wish sir” Benjamin said, while cautiously backing out of the driveway. </p><p>The rest of the admittedly lengthy trip was clouded with ideas of what I should do, what I should say- what could make everything just go perfectly. My nerves and excitement were all wrapped up in a surreal anticipation as the sun setting began to turn the sky a weird orange. While we started approaching the studio buildings we were all halted by rush hour traffic. Up ahead I could see the front steps  and I saw Jenson heading down so she could reach the side lot where cars were parked. </p><p>“Hey Ben go find a parking spot somewhere I’m getting out.” Without thinking of the consequences I unlocked and opened up my door slightly, and jumped off of my transportation. I caught a glimpse of Benjamin’s disapproving look as I slipped out and made my way towards Jenson. </p><p>“Hey! Jenson! Over here look it’s -“</p><p> There were security guards posted on every entrance of the building and one rushed down the stairs as he saw me advancing- I realized the situation just got out of hand- things were off to a great start. </p><p>“Hey sir! What do you think your doing?, Mrs. Oakley is returning from work without-“</p><p>Jenson looked over at me and then recognized the situation unfolding</p><p>“Oh goodness don’t pay him any mind- that’s Mark Fichbach, we had plans to meet up today, don’t be alarmed.” She said, trying to smooth things over with the guard. </p><p>God I’m an idiot for trying to just walk up like a total stranger. The guard relaxed and Jenson turned her attention to me.</p><p>“Mark, I have to admit I’m surprised. I thought I wouldn’t be seeing you for another few hours- what changed?”</p><p>“Oh! Well a bit after we had gotten off the phone I was contacted by the Laguna Hills movie studio and...” I trailed off leaving obvious suspense.</p><p>“What'd they say...?!”</p><p>I grinned and delivered the great news. “I’m going to be hired onto their project. All I have to do is one easy interview to hammer out some details of employment and boom! Back in town!”</p><p>She gave a small polite clap before looking around and hugging me. “I’m so proud of you Mark! You deserve this job, I’m so glad to hear you’ve committed to this next big step!” Her arms tried to squeeze the hug a bit more and then she goofily stepped away. </p><p>I laughed softly and felt my face go a little hot before talking again.</p><p>“Anyway, I was so excited I finished getting ready early in order to surprise you with a night on the town just the two of us- it’ll be my treat.”<br/>“To who? Yourself or me?” She joked</p><p>“ Why not both? You could use a break and I need to celebrate!”</p><p>She looked to the side and seemed slightly uncomfortable. “Well let me just run home first- I appreciate the surprise but I’m hardly suitable for an evening out after working all day.“</p><p> </p><p>“Nonsense! Some of the finest brands of clothes are sold just around this block- go pick out an outfit and makeup-anything you’d like and I’ll cover the cost.” I was completely serious. I wanted to make her feel the way I saw her- stunning and generous. However she seemed confused and only dismissed my statement.</p><p>“Oh Mark that’s too much. I could never, and besides I manage perfectly fine on my own salary you worry about yourself now.“<br/>“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have more riches than what I know what to do with. I own an 8 bedroom manor despite having no family to share it with. I could take whatever the cost would be.”</p><p>She still tried to refuse “ I can’t. It’ll just seem like I’m using you or something- I can just go home and pick something out.“</p><p> I reached out and held her hand, in order to make eye contact<br/>“Jenson, I don’t mind, and I’m doing it because it’s convenient. We can spend more time celebrating this way.”</p><p>She looked down and laughed. “Are you really not going to let this go..?”</p><p>I simply shook my head</p><p>“Alright, then lead the way.” She was still ashamed in a way but immediately relaxed. she must’ve realized I was even more stubborn than she thought.</p><p>We walked across a few streets as Jenson started to survey everything around us in great detail. <br/> “You know, I’m always in such a hurry to get to or from work I really have failed to appreciate the business and atmosphere of what was just around the corner.”<br/>“Well, I’m glad I could open your eyes in some way.” I responded, even though that obviously wasn’t an intentional outcome of this journey.</p><p>We looked at the front windows and Jenson seemed interested in a Brand store named Milgrim Melody. She marveled at a dress on display that was thin, light blue, cut a bit short, and had various diamond like tassels hanging off in designs.<br/>“They seem to have a good selection- can we stop by in here Mark?”</p><p>“Of course, it’s whatever you’d like this evening.”</p><p>She was still a bit embarrassed but did a bit better at showing appreciation to cover it up. A small ding sounded on the door when we walked in and our presence definitely turned the heads of a few people occupying the store.</p><p>“ Hello! Um- how can we help you today?” A male employee with blonde, shaggy hair was trying to act like nothing was strange, about two celebrities just walking into the establishment. Jenson spoke up for herself<br/>“Oh I was just looking for a simple, but nice dress to wear for a night out and it was kind of on a last minute basis.”</p><p>By now some of the customers were exchanging glances and trying to figure out if we were actually the actors we resembled, silently whispering “ I think she was in this” or “ isn’t that the man whose wife went mad”</p><p>I ignored the chit chat and situated myself on a bench outside a shoe rack, letting Jenson browse without feeling like I was hovering over her shoulder. </p><p>The employee started showing her around selections of dresses, while I simply looked neutral and relaxed. It was entertaining just to dart my eyes occasionally to a customer who might’ve been looking, and see them turn the other way in fear of eye contact. After sitting there for about 10 minutes Jenson came over to me with different dresses she wanted to try on.<br/>“Do you have any opinions on these? I tried to stick to the not so pricey ones as not to burden you.“</p><p>“It’s alright! Just pick whatever makes you feel confident, or comfortable- I have no other input.”<br/>The truth is, my personal fashion taste would probably clash with her own, and I definitely didn’t want to be creepy and dictate what she should get. <br/>She bit her lip a moment and then went off with all the dresses she had wanted to try.</p><p>I went back to pretending I was busy, but soon was finally confronted by two female store patrons.</p><p>“Um, excuse me- are you Mark Fichbach?” </p><p>I sat up straighter and smiled, doing the whole “ meeting a fan” song and dance.<br/>“That’s me- and you two would be?”</p><p>“Oh I’m Nikayla.”</p><p>The other girl from behind her was still looking at the ground, afraid to look at me, but she still spoke up.</p><p>“Hi- my name is Adriana, sorry to bother you we’re just big fans of your films and wanted to come up and introduce ourselves since we might never get the chance to see you.”</p><p>“You're not bothering me at all! Have some faith in yourself- can’t fault you at all for seeing an opportunity and coming up.” </p><p>They were both super nervous, which was typical of most fans. It clicked in my mind just how long it had been since I’d had any interaction like this. Nikayla, the more confident of the duo, spoke up.</p><p>“Well this is one of the first times anyone’s seen you in public for a while- I guess you were waiting for the heat to die down huh?”</p><p>My first instinct was to get angry- after all my break was a very personal and private thing, but it made sense. You can’t just disappear and expect no one to question it.</p><p>“I... I needed a lot of time to assess how I would continue with my life after everything, and how I would need to carry myself going forward. I’m pleased to say that my days of... self infliction- I mean inspection are starting to be put behind me.”</p><p>“Does that mean you’ll be back to doing shows again? There’s still people who would love to see you return, even after everything. I mean I know for me personally I think my life’s changed for the better because of your roles”</p><p>Wow... what a punch to the gut. People... there’s still some that would’ve missed me. Still cared. </p><p>“Well I can’t say much of anything right now... but I think something will be coming up eventually.” I replied a bit slyly</p><p> </p><p>“Really?! That’s so amazing”</p><p>“Yeah it is exciting- but keep it on the down low it’s not really supposed to be talked about yet.”</p><p>“Right right- well thank you for your time!”</p><p>The shy girl finally looked up from the floor and looked at me briefly. “It was nice to meet you!”</p><p>“Have a good evening.” I replied</p><p> And with that the two walked away. </p><p>From behind me Jenson presumably tapped my shoulder. </p><p>I turned around to see that she had on the dress from the window, that was dazzling as all the different little gems hit the light. I felt a bit of heat rise to my face as I marveled at how naturally beautiful she looked.</p><p>“I decided to go with this one, I think it suits me well.” She said, beaming with a subdued pride.</p><p>“It looks great! Golly you ought to be walking the red carpet right now. An absolute star-“ I cut myself off from the praise as she seemed increasingly embarrassed. </p><p>She looked around at the other people in the store, who were starting to catch drift of some chemistry between the two of us.</p><p>“Well, let me cover the cost and we’ll be on our way.” I stood up and headed to the register, doing just as I had said, and we promptly left the store.</p><p>“So, what now?” Jenson asked</p><p>“Well, it’s whatever you’d like, but I must make sure our dinner reservations at the top of the symphony tower-“ </p><p>“ Mark! You did not- that's such an expensive establishment- sometimes I don’t think you have a brain in that head of yours.” She laughed slightly and I did the same. </p><p>“Probably not, but still, I really wanted to make you feel appreciated. I mean just today I had fans walk up to me in the store. I’ve been missing out on so many simple experiences, and you’ve really just opened up my eyes. You deserve all the riches in the world, at least in my eyes- too bad you're so humble and modest sometimes.” I half-joked. </p><p>She didn’t take it the way I intended. “Ah well... when you remember where you came from- plain, simple, little life- it’s hard to forget that you don’t really need all this wealth when there’s so many worse off. I make sure I work hard every day because... well sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve it. And hey! You were the one who let me get my foot in the door with acting, so maybe it’s a karma... paying it forward type of thing.” This was... a bit of insight into how she thinks. I didn’t ever really consider how she might feel in debt to me.</p><p> “Well, I guess we can finally call it even now right?” </p><p>“Right... oh to hell with it all let’s go have some tiny 200 dollar meal- but this is the only time, next time we meet up it’s my choice.” </p><p>“Alright, I’ll keep that In mind.” I said smiling. </p><p>Without me prompting it, she locked her arm  with mine as we walked. And it seemed like we were finally on equal footing.</p>
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